If You Were Gay
by AwkwardSurgeon
Summary: This isn't my best but I'm bored with no one to review it. Denmark decides to see if he can annoy Sweden after his power cuts out.


It was a normal day for Denmark in the Nordic Region of the World. However, Denmark did not approve of a _normal _day in _his _part of the world. Finland was **still** preparing for Christmas, Iceland and Norway were arguing over some 'Fridge Loving' incident and Sweden was reading a furniture catalogue. Not even Hana-Tamago would play with him. Hell, where was Sealand? His spot in front of the TV was even bare. In fact today was a very dull day for Denmark. "Perhaps a nice cold beer would make the day better?" Then Denmark realized, he'd been banned from every bar in town for a year after he had convinced most of the managers to give him more than enough complimentary beer to last a lifetime. "To the Internet!" Denmark declared and about after three hours – two of which he spent trying to beat Prussia in multiple games and lost all – Denmarks power cut out whilst in the middle of a video on YouTube.

"Nej! Min baby!" Denmark screamed in frustration and banged his fists against the table. Then an idea formed in Denmarks head.

Denmark crawled through Sweden's snow covered backyard snickering to himself. As he reached the window that looked into Sweden and Finland's lounge room, Denmark peered over the top of the windowsill. There he was, still sitting in front of the fireplace reading.

"What are you doing Uncle Den?" Denmark jumped and almost screamed at the sound of Sealand's voice.

"Where did you come from?!" He whispered to the boy who stood directly behind him. Sealand laughed.

"I was playing war with Latvia" Denmark looked around the small boy and saw a frightened Latvia hiding behind what looked like an England inspired snowman. "England's attacking us with his scones and jerkiness!"

"Uhh, is Sweden still inside?" Sealand looked up, smiled and waved. He nodded his head.

"Yup!"

"Then forget you ever saw me." Denmark whispered waving his hands in circles and walked off to the side like a crab. "Now where is his workshop window?" Denmark mused to himself.

Eventually he found it and managed to sneak into Sweden's house, after touching a few of Sweden's newest creations – just so he could brag to Norway how he was the first to touch them – Denmark crawled into the lounge room and snuck up behind the chair Sweden sat on. Slowly, Denmark rose from the fall. His hand reached out fiendishly to grab Sweden's shoulder.

"HEY BERWALD!" He shouted as he grabbing the Swedes shoulder. Sweden's head jerked around sharply, his eye's dull yet screaming murder. This almost swayed Denmark and almost made him abandon his quest. But then he laughed to cover his fear, this made him realize that he had been successful in finally scaring Sweden. He could almost his two birds with one stone today! "You know I just wanted to let you know something. Something _really_ important." He said hugging Sweden's shoulders. Sweden raised an eyebrow. Denmark cleared his voice and began to sing.

"If you were gay, that'd be okay!

I mean cause hey, I like you a-ny-way." Denmark sung as he began to walk around to the front of Sweden's chair.

"Because you see, if it were me,

I would feel free to say, that I was gay

But I'm not gay!" Sweden grunted somewhat at Denmarks song

"If you were queer, I'd still be here.

Year after year, because you're dear. To. Me.

And I know that you, would accept me too.

If I told you today

'Hey guess what I'm gay!".

But I'm not gay!" Sweden now calmed and just watched what seemed to be unamused. Then Denmark began to dance.

"I'm happy, just being with you!

So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with Finland!"

"Hey Papa what does that mean?" Sealnd asked from the door.

"Sealand leave now, leave now!" Latvia screamed pulling the boy out of the room away from the older nations discussion. Denmark simply shrugged and carried on with his song.

"If you were gay, I'd shout Hooray!

And here I'd stay, but I wouldn't get in your way.

You can count on me, to always be,

Beside you everyday, to tell you it's okay

You were just born that way, and as they say it's in your DNA!

YOU'RE GAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Denmark finished with his arms spread out, pulling the spirit fingers.

"Really?" Sweden asked.

"Of course!" Denmark laughed thinking he had done a good job in annoying Sweden. Sweden then pulled out a pen and paper and began to write some things down.

"Mind picking these up for me then." His deep voice asked. Denmark took the paper without question, he was in a good mood, it was the least he could do. Especially since he knew Sweden would now have a hard time answering some of Sealand's questions. Denmark looked at the paper. It started semi normal. Flowers, chocolates, coffee. Then he got to the two packets of condoms and strawberry lube and the sex toys. Denmark felt his mind shatter.

"What the hell kind of list is this!"

"Hn? It's Finlands birthday soon." Sweden replied as if that explained everything. Denmark twitched. What had he gotten himself into? There had to be a explanation for this, or maybe Sweden was just playing with him.

"Why the two different sized condoms?" Sweden looked directly into Denmark's eyes, his face serious and unlying.

"One for me and one for Tino." Denmark felt his soul snap. "Oh and one more thing, can you get this polish-"

"NOPE!" Denmark ran out of the room with Swedens list almost weeping at this shock discovery. Sweden smiled and then looked down at the small gold ring with a tiny diamond that reflected red in the sun and gulped as Finland came home asking what was wrong with Denmark.


End file.
